The Supercomputer Optimization
by MysteriousWriter1127
Summary: Sheldon has hit a dead end and was going to give up, but was told about a computer pill otherwise known as a SQUIP and takes it having it develop inside his head and tells him what to do so he can win the Nobel Prize.
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, this is a technical crossover story between The Big Bang Theory and the musical Be More Chill. In case no one knows what it's about, look it up! Anyways, no negative reviews please! Otherwise i'll delete them.**

It was a terrible evening for all. Emotional, stressful… And terrible.

Amy sat in between Leonard and Penny in silence, her head resting on Leonard's shoulder. Raj and Stuart sit together having a conversation about if they worked in a strip club, Howard and Bernadette sit together having a quiet conversation of their own about his now bandaged hand.

It was too quiet in the room and it's been hours and still not a single word. The waiting and the waiting was making things worse for them… Until it was finally over.

"I got some news."

"How is he?"

"Well… Not so great…"

That morning, Sheldon woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast and started working on the laptop. He started figuring an experimental situation but unfortunately, Sheldon got stuck and couldn't figure this out.

Leonard grabbed the car keys and calls, "Sheldon! Come on! We're gonna be late!"

Groaning, Sheldon closes his laptop deciding to figure this out when he gets to his office at Caltech. On the way, Sheldon chats away about his problem to Leonard who is clearly annoyed like always.

"I can't figure out this problem! I was up till midnight doing it and I even woke up before six to solve it! I'm so close to a breakthrough!"

Leonard took a deep breath, "Sheldon, there is always a way. It can't be a dead end. Just don't give up on this."

"Oh I won't. I will study the feces out of this thing and will get it done in no time!" Sheldon crosses his arm when he said that.

Turning back to driving, Leonard said sounding hopeful, "If you say so."

As soon as they get to the campus, Sheldon goes into the office and restarts the experiment, but got stuck again.

"This is hopeless." Sheldon groans as the experiment went to a dead end. He sat in his desk and buries his head in hands. "Goodbye Nobel Prize."


	2. Chapter 2

**I apologize if I can't get Kripke's speech impediment right.**

There was a knock on the door and he looked up seeing his colleage and former nemesis.

"What do you want Kripke?" Sheldon asked not wanting to speak with him at the moment.

Barry explains, "Well, I was passing by and when I overheawd you giving up, I thought I can give you advwise. I suggest that you take this advwise to help with your physics pwoblems or other pwoblems in genwal."

"If this advice is called 'give up' I will not take it. And this better not be another one of those tricks Kripke. You really humiliated me on the radio. And that I will never forgive."

Barry apologized in a tone so sincere, "I know. And I still apowigwise for that. I thought this will be something you need."

Sheldon looks up. "What is it?"

He answers, "What you need is called a SQUIP."

"A what?" Sheldon questions. He clearly never heard of what it is.

"Super Quantum Unit Intel Pwocessor! A SQUIP. You know what that is?"

"Is it some new technology device that isn't invented yet? Or one of your new projects you wouldn't work with me on?"

"Don't tell me you don't know what it is! Thought your more smawter than that!"

Sheldon sighs not in a mood to literally put up a fight, "I'm just not familiar with what it is."

"It's fwom Japan!" Barry says excited. "It's a pill that devewops a supercomputew inside your bwain! And it tells you what to do! Even better than Micwosoft or Apple or all that cwap!"

Sheldon asked confused, "So your asking me to take a pill that could assist me in physics?"

"Oh not just physics! It can solve all pwoblems! I'll look it up!"

Unsure and reluctant, Sheldon gets out his laptop and Barry types in a link.

"This is the only website I can fwind. It's vewy top secwet!"

The website opens to the description to the pill.

"But this is drugs… And I promised my mother that I am not allowed to take drugs when I left Texas." Sheldon wouldn't allow it.

"Oh no, this ain't dwugs. This is something better than dwugs! It's wike technowogy inside your head! I took it a while ago and it actually hewped me get through pwojects! Amazing huh?"

"How come I haven't heard of it?" He asked out of curiosity.

Barry replied with a hint of sarcasm, "Uh, it's iwegal! Because it's fwom Japan!"

Still unsure about it, Sheldon sighs, "I still don't know about this."

"Well Cooper… It's your choice. I'll weave you to your pwoject if your too chicken to take it."

With that, Barry is about to leave but Sheldon stops him. "Kripke… Wait."

Turning around with a smirk he chuckles, "Knew you would change your mind…"

"Your sure this is no trick?"

"Absowutely not Cooper."

Sheldon asked him, "Where can we meet?"

"Let's meet in the corner awey by the Wife Sciences say awound… Wunch?"

"Sounds promising. What's the catch Kripke?"

"Bring in a comic book and the SQUIP is yours." Barry said quickly leaving before Sheldon can say another word.

Looking at the dead end on the white board, Sheldon made up his mind. He debated about having a supercomputer inside his brain since he's already like a human robot who doesn't really give a care. But interacting with the computer that can help, can be his one-way ticket to a Nobel Prize.


	3. Chapter 3

**When I found out the series is going to end, I was so fuckin pissed (excuse me). Also I will take a break from this one to work with the other ones. Anyways enjoy and please no negative reviews.**

The next day, Sheldon tucks an X-Men comic book inside his jacket when it was time for a lunch break. He quickly grabbed his lunch and ate in just minutes before standing up to leave knowing Kripke is now waiting in the alley.

"Where do you think your going Sheldon?" Leonard asked curious carrying his lunch tray followed by Howard and Raj who are about to sit.

Sheldon lied, "Oh I just ate, I'm going to the office."

He really hated lying to Leonard. He left the cafeteria and goes to the corner alley where Barry is waiting.

"Alright Kripke… You have it?" Sheldon asks.

"You have the comic?" Barry asked back.

He reaches inside his jacket and pulls out the X-Men comic giving it to Barry who reached in his pocket and takes out a plastic ziploc bag containing a grayish blue pill.

"Now you make sure you dwink this with Mountain Dew," Barry instructs.

Sheldon nodded. "Affirmative."

After stopping by the corner store on the way home to get the Mountain Dew, he walked into his apartment finding Leonard putting on his jacket.

"Hey buddy. Where have you been all day?" Leonard asked wondering why his roommate didn't come home with him.

"I've been taking the rest of the day to do a favor," Sheldon lied putting the bag on the island counter.

Leonard raised his eyebrows in question. "For who?"

Sheldon really hates lying to Leonard again. The last time he actually lied was when be broke the Star Trek toy and switched it and could never bring up the truth.

"It's a very long story and it might take a while till I cut to the chase."

Both men stare at each other and Sheldon nodded. Leonard buys it.

"Alright well… I know it's halo night, but Raj is having it at his place. I know you hate change. But-"

"It's fine Leonard. I don't have to go," Sheldon replied.

Leonard asked, "You sure?"

"It's fine. I got this experiment that needs to be done. I'll have food later."

"… Ok. Well call if you need anything. Ok buddy?"

He nodded in reply and Leonard walks out the door. "See you later."

Sheldon waited for the apartment for to shut before running back to the island to open the bag pulling out Mountain Dew and the pill out of the ziploc bag mentally apologizing to his mother for breaking the promise.

Before putting the pill in his mouth, he started to have second thoughts.

Should I really do this? What if my mother finds out? I need that Nobel Prize. Come on, just do it! But won't this be deceiving someone? It would be cool to have a supercomputer inside of me even though I tend to be one.

Thinking about it for five minutes, Sheldon slips the SQUIP pill into his mouth and washed it down with Mountain Dew swallowing it before putting it in the refrigerator.

After a few seconds, he felt nothing.

"Damn you Kripke." Sheldon knew this was a trick all the long. He was even pissed that he traded the comic book for this.

Looking to the door, Sheldon thought maybe he can go follow Leonard and tell him he changes his mind due to a waste of time.

He made up his mind and went to the door about to follow Leonard. But as Sheldon was about to reach for the doorknob, he hears a zap like from space films and his head instantly went into pain.

"Ow! What the-"

" _Target object, inaccessible._ " A sudden voice appears inside his head that sounds quite robotic.

"Hello?!"

" _Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort."_

"What? Mild?" Sheldon shouts to a voice coming from out of nowhere as pain went through his body.

"Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated."

"Wait! Who are you?" Sheldon demands to know where the technological voice is coming from.

"Discomfort level may increase."

All of the sudden, Sheldon's knees buckled to the floor when more instant pain shot literally through his whole body and he tries not to cry.

 _"Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete."_  
 _  
_"What is going on!?" Sheldon yells shutting his eyes tightly, but luckily no one else is in the apartment as of now.

 _"Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor… Your SQUIP."_


	4. Chapter 4

**I apologize for the long hiatus! I've been busy with work and everything else. So now I'm sick which gives me enough time to write this. Please leave positive reviews!  
**

Opening his eyes, Sheldon looks across the room seeing a strange figure that had just appeared. The figure looked exactly like Bill Nye the Science Guy.

"Oh dear lord… Is it me… Or I am seeing Bill Nye?" Sheldon says standing up. Is this really happening right now? He thought.

 _"This is my default mode. You can also set me for: Leonard Nimoy, Adam West, Mark Hamill-"_

"Oooh! Go Mark Hamill! Go Mark Hamill!" Sheldon jumped up and down excitedly.

Rolling his eyes, the SQUIP changed from Bill Nye to a 20 something year old Mark Hamill like from the 70's.

"This is amazing!" Sheldon shouts excited. "I can't wait to show this to my friends."

 _"Unfortunately I cannot process that."_

"Why?" Sheldon asked.

The SQUIP replies, _"I exist only in your mind. If they see you talking to me, all they would see is you having an animated conversation with your own self. If you are around in public, just think at me instead. Like you're telepathic."_

"Oh! Like all those superhero movies! Like the X-Men!"

The supercomputer stares for a moment and said cutting to the chase, _"I know you have a problem."_

"Yes! I do!" Sheldon explains the situation, "I was in the middle of researching on my project because I am striving to get the Nobel Prize. But I reached a dead end. Can you help?"

 _"I can see that you are a theoretical physicist at a university."_

Sheldon asked, "How did you know that?"

 _"I have access to your memories."_

He said, "Ok! Tell me what you know about me!"

The SQUIP then started, _"Accessing memory database… Sheldon Lee Cooper, age 36, born in a Walmart in Galveston, Texas with twin sister, Melissa Cooper on February 26, 1980. Went to Medford High School at age nine, started college at age eleven, started graduate school in Germany at age fourteen, received first doctorate at age sixteen, received Ph.D in physics at age twenty at the California Institute of Technology otherwise known as CalTech."_

Sheldon couldn't believe what he is hearing. "Wow… Kripke is not kidding."

He gestures the SQUIP, inviting it to the couch. "Let's talk some more."

The supercomputer was going to sit down but Sheldon interrupts, "Wait, that's where I sit." 

_"You have an assigned seating?"_ The SQUIP asked.

"Yeah. And there's a reason for that," Sheldon says logically, "You see that spot is close to the radiator to remain warm and yet not so close as to cause perspiration in the winter. And in the summer, it's directly in the path of a cross-breeze created by opening windows there and there." He points to those windows before continuing, "And it faces the television at an angle that is neither direct thus discouraging conversation nor so far wide as to create a parallax distortion, thus placing it in a state of eternal dibs. I could go on about this, but I made my point."

Giving an dramatic sigh, the SQUIP moved over to sit in the middle of the couch along with Sheldon sitting in his spot.

"You know any pop culture or franchises?" Sheldon asks.

The SQUIP confirms it, _"Certainly."_

He asked again, "Do you do research?"

 _"Yes."_

"Can you figure out the math when I couldn't which is rarely true?"

The supercomputer said deadpan, _"I am a supercomputer. I am made of math."_

Sheldon continued interviewing the SQUIP, asking a lot of questions. He was so excited about this and he thought this is totally worth it.

Just then the door opened and Sheldon's eyes see Leonard coming in with Penny.

"Hey Sheldon," Penny says entering.

"Hello," Sheldon said looking back at the SQUIP finding it missing from the couch.

"I'll meet you in my apartment Leonard," Penny kisses him on the cheek and waves goodbye to Sheldon before exiting their apartment.

Leonard asked, "What are you so excited about?"

"Oh nothing... Just interacting with Mark Hamill," Sheldon says with a smile.

"Ok… Well I'm going to spend the night at across the hall. You alright alone?"

Sheldon nodded quickly. "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking."

Leonard looked at him puzzled before leaving. "Ok then… Don't stay up too late. Goodnight." And he walked out the door mumbling, "This is kind of weird."

As soon as the door closed, Sheldon was about to continue talking to the SQUIP, but it asked coming back, _"Who is that?"_

"That's my roommate, Leonard Hofstadter. I know him for a while. He's my best friend," Sheldon replied.

The SQUIP then said, _"That won't do. Why are you always with him?"_

"Because he's my roommate. He pays half the rent," Sheldon said. "And I also work with him at Caltech."

 _"You need to start fixing yourself up. How about I make you a deal…"_

Sheldon asked, "What kind of deal? And-"

 _"I can help you with your experiment and I help you do some things for me."_

"Can we just do the experiment first? It's at a dead end and I'm desperate!"

 _"Then we can work on the project bright and early tomorrow and then I'll instruct you with other things. Deal?"  
_  
Sheldon thought for a moment and then confirms it, "Deal."

 _"Now get ready for bed. You got a big day tomorrow,"_ the SQUIP instructs.

Thinking it over, Sheldon agrees. "Ok. Goodnight SQUIP." The SQUIP turns off and Sheldon goes to his room to get ready for bed.


End file.
